If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
