I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize