I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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