I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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