I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
How's work?
Spinning.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
