wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
