As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
