You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
