I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
