How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just found puke in my bra..
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
