You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just tell him i said nine months
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
