she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
