I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
