make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
