You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
