so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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