This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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