i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
