then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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