just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize