i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
