Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize