dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
