dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I booty called her while she was in labor.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
