Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So squirting runs in the family.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
