she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
