Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
