If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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