Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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