i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
