you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
