Hey man sorry I got all grabby
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
