I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
