well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and she was petting her beer can
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize