i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
