I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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