Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
