don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
