Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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