I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
