so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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