If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
