I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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