if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize