using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
