Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
