I'm drive I can fine osifer
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize