Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
where are my eyebrows?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize