he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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