So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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