if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
