people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
