She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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