you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
