In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
