When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
