last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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