I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
