I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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