i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
