The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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