nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
