His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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