No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
