My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize