My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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