brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
