i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
