I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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