Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
