I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
