Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
