I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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