So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I AM VODKA MAN
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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