He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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