So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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