its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
ttyl tear gas
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
